A Dark Awakening

The dark clouds are looming,

 The pouring rain is dark and the water is murky,

"Keep your chin up.", they said: What malarkey.

I feel it growing, the gloom within is booming;

The melancholy is a force to be reckoned with.

So crippling and violent,

Such is her rule, this melancholy is my tyrant,

Compassion is dead. This life needs true grit.

Fear the future which fancies fulfillment of only one thing: Anguish.

Is this my sordid fantasy? My depraved self pity and loathsome masochism??

See my antagony, my self birthed antagonism,

In this pit of darkness my hopes languish;

Sadistic. Dark. Hurtful. Bleeding.

Words that describe the pain this e-ink carries,

To what end and when, will Charon take me in his ferry?

My darkness thriving in this mind-state, feeding;

The labours lost and the labours won,

All come to nought when this plane shattering pain wrests me of my peace,

Plunging me into chaos, into this hateful & diseased existence. Till my breathing I cease,

I then realise, I am not just afraid for myself, but I am also afraid of myself. 

Run!

So much fear. Is that all that is left here?

Another epiphany: Why fight the darkness when it is within?

Diamonds can cut diamonds and my darkness cannot be fought with light. I need my might!

I smile. I embrace the demons, quieting my angels: I leer;

Dark. Shadows. The blindingly bright darkness spreads,

I grin through it all,

I acknowledge the darkness within, me and my demons have a ball!

Why fight it when its a part of you? Control it. Through your fears, let your dark new blade shred...